1. The process of transforming a community of human beings into a dead fictional entity so profiteers can exploit their “corpses”.
Oh, I’m sorry…did you mean the other kind of “incorporation”, where cities gobble up adjoining unclaimed areas to add to their tax revenue base? My mistake!
What just happened there? I guess it is not worth all the stress and unwanted attention to be Mayor when controversial measures arise in the community, especially since it is a volunteer position!
In that case, I wonder if there is anyone who would even want to volunteer to be Mayor and step into the bed of coals that annexation represents! The new Mayor Terry Giager doesn’t sound thrilled to inherit the mess and even says he doesn’t want the job.
Well never fear for Mayor of Lame is here! I volunteer, I volunteer!
I volunteer to be Mayor but I can only work anonymously. You see, like a corporation, I too am a fictional entity that only exists in the amorphous data cloud known as “the internet”.
I am skilled at the art of “conflict resolution” and “tense negotiations” as well as many other official sounding forms of corporate Jujitsu.
I also have a healthy sense of humor which is going to be important as Avondale takes itself too seriously.
So let’s get started shall we?
First of all let’s get an idea who actually wants to be annexed?
Maybe Forrest Hills residents want to escape the inept and corrupt Dekalb County?
Decatur Mayor Jim Baskett has already stated that they are not interested in Forrest Hills for various reasons, including “They have no commercial property of any real significance and they would add greatly to the burden of our schools”.
That is kinda harsh, huh? You’re worthless and we don’t want your kids to burden our schools?
So does that automatically mean Forrest Hills should join Avondale? And how much say do the current residents of Avondale have in these annexation decisions? Will Forrest Hills then be a “burden” on Avondale Estates as well?
What about Your Dekalb Farmers Market (YDFM), a nice big commercial property that would help pay for the new “burdensome” residential areas AE wants to annex?
Heck no, YDFM would rather remain in Dekalb County or be a part of the proposed city of “Briarcliff”.
Decatur Terrace, a small neighborhood between College Avenue and Craigie Avenue, submitted petitions to join the City of Decatur and also to be removed from Avondale’s annexation map. What would make these residents think Decatur wants them when Decatur’s Mayor has made it clear that residential areas will not bring in enough tax revenue and will burden the schools?
The way these annexations have been handled up until now has obviously left Avondale Estates looking less attractive to potential businesses and residents.
What services can Avondale Estates possibly provide to entice potential taxpayers to get on board with annexation?
Well, AE has lots of Police Officers, who will provide you with the service of writing you tickets in the comfort of your own neighborhood! Maybe you can help them climb from number 5 to number 1 in ticket revenue!
Hmmm, what else…we’ll pick up your yard waste and let you drive around in golf carts!
Our new motto – “Join us in Avondale Estates or just continue to rot in unincorporated Dekalb County!”